Depending on your mood, you're either going to feel really bad for the people in this list, or you're going to feel a tremendous sense of relief that you haven't done anything this cringeworthy today.
1. That's a lonely birthday
It's the day-long gap in the conversation that makes this one especially tough for me to look at.
2. They haven't spoken in 5 years
Don't blame me for typing this either, blame my fingers.
3. It's important to set up your next meeting
David took a few minutes to realize where things went wrong. Unfortunately, it doesn't seem like she shared his fetish.
4. A reminder to call your mother
Otherwise she might put you on blast in front of all of your Friends.
Up next: He's asking for science